Thursday, May 14, 2009
Capture Me...
Past week, been feeling very moody...I should be positive, more positive !!
Try to look on the bright side of life,
when there's so many colourful things going around me...
I'm planning to capture all happy moment after I get my new camera,
ermm hopefully I can feel a little bit more happier...
As for school, for next week I will put in more effort,
I'll try to go everyday... Cant go on like this forever...
I do notice, my life had changed,
I've grown a lot more then usual...
Really coming to know what life is all about...
Not alway happy tho most of the times is sadness,
because to feel happy you need to go through sadness/pain...
At times, I have to admit,
I really feel like ending my life once and for all...
But I realise what's the point of doing it,
when I'm considered more fortunate then others...
Anyway, stop all the emoing topic,
ermm will move on with my life,
enjoy till the very last breath...
Randy
Hugs & Kisses
Wednesday, May 6, 2009
I'm Crushing Down
Since FRI 1st May 2009, you never bother asking me got money enough to use,
any trouble when come to me needed to buy material badly,
during break I need money to eat and on top all this my fare top up ?
You think its enough just by topping up $10 a week ! NO !
I can not eat during school, I can forget about going any entertainment after school,
all this does not matter to me... seriously !!! But ask yourself this !
When I've not been asking from you all this while,
what is in your mind ?
As an role of a DAD ?
You think you suit ?
You think you can do it ?
You think by being a controller, control over me make u a DAD ?
The answer is NO !
You never fit to be in the role of a DAD...
I had enough from school, workload, personal problem & now I have to even troubled about my closest family member for not giving me enough !
I am not a spoiled kid, the ENOUGH I am saying is a huge different from the past to now...
You just have to use your fucking brain to think about it !
For now, I'll just shut my gap up, I'll not ask and you don't bother to call me...
I totally HATE you now...
Every outcome till today,
they are all created by you...
I am thinking of quitting, the feeling is there already just tat I wanna do it or not ?
Its just a matter of time... To be precise !
I don't care if you ever came across this fucking blog of mine,
read this post, I just don't give a damn to you when you can not give me a damn...
I am dishearted in everything now...
Disappointed in you...
Just let me go please...
Randy
Saturday, May 2, 2009
Smart In A Stupid Way
I am feeling empty in myself this weekends...Not sure what gotten over me...
Seen the good and the bad of life,
when I was young everything was good but it did not last long,
till I was a teens everything gotten even worst...
Now I am a adult, my life seem to comes down to nothing...
Is this coming to the end ?!
I really feel like giving up on lots of things,
infact on myself most of the time...
I have no motivation for school,
no intention to live on &
no idea what my life will be...
I just cant smile when I'm not happy,
I just cant cry when I've no tears,
I just cant be bother by anger,
I just cant find the strength to fight anymore,
I just cant see myself now...
Why do the peoples around me must be so mean to me...
Why cant we get along well together ?
Normally I'm so strong...
Used to be so happy and cheerful...
Peoples used to love me...
Never dare get infront of me...
Now, the present,
that not me...
I feel so lonely,
thrown in the darkest side of the corner world...
I just cant wake up now...
Save me please ?
sign ~
I'm fine...
Randy
lost ...
